Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I am never drinking with the goths again.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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