i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
