Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I currently don't understand fingers.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
