All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
