Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
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So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize