Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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