can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
