Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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