you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
