He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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