So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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