Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
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He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
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I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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