I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
40s are totally the cure
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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