I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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