so that wasnt chicken after all
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
