Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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