i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
