Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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