I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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