i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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