apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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