Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
