I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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