It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
