best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize