so explain again why im purple
no
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Never underestimate the power of titties
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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