Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
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I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
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we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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