I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
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No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
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SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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