So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
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