he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
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just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize