After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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