I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
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if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
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my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.