Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
