Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
