highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
