I cockslap morals
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
