A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I woke up under a house in Key West
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