im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Your penis caused this!
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize