i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
whose parrot is this?
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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