if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
