There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
