Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize