I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??