Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
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you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
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Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?