Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul