Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza