Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
21 Distraught People Found Out They Had An STD
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.