There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
