i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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