I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
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