im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize