There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
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I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?