Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.