is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.