just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life