She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Did I turn a man straight...??
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.