I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
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