I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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